How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
