Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
