so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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