I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Someone came in the potted fern
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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