One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
