I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
