i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
