is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize