Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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