Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
