Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
