Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
