It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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