playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
