My hand turned me down
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
