FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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