Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
