what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
