I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
