And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
