Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
