just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
