we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
