If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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