What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
