He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
