Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
