All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
