shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
