He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
...so i touched it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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