have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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