I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
