I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
