i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
