i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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