A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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