dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
