Heybabeimwearingurpanties
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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