I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
