i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
