We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my being single is dangerous.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
