would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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