Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I checked into jail on foursquare
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
