i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
