Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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