Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
