oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
if i died would you start the facebook group?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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