farters have to be the big spoon...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
