You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
being pregnant is like rehab
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
