why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
