What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Farmville is her only friend.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
